Already gone

You see me 

but I'm not really there

A ghost of being 

Of past, present and no future 

I am floating

Suffocating while getting enough air 

I have forgotten how to be 

You hold out your hand 

But I just can't reach

I am too far for you to save me 

Too far gone to breathe 

I will float away, alone again 

Into clouds of darkness ready to eat 

My soul, my sanity, anything that remains 

You can't save me 

I'm already gone. 

Mario Game

My life is a Mario game, 

A number of lives given to play, 

All used up and thrown away,

And I’m on my last life, 

Fighting to survive, 

Because after this, it’s the end of the game.

My soul has no more to give,

There is not another battle that I can win,

Yet every day is a battle, 

A struggle of its own,

Hold this last life, tight in my hands, don’t let it go,

Because once it is gone, then so am I.

One more sucker punch from life itself,

And I will be done with this hell,

Once I die, when I lose another

piece, of my fragile soul,

I know I won’t recover,

Won’t be able to hold on,

I’ll just have to let go.

Can you see me?

Can you see me? 

If I shake?

Can you hear me? 

If I scream? 

Can you feel me? 

If I radiate fear?

Or is it invisible. 

A ghost not really there. 

Is my illness not real to you 

Because I am able to pretend it's not there

Secrets & Lies

I cannot breathe, 

I am drowning in truth,

All your half-truths and secrets,

These lies will bury you,

Don’t think I can’t see,

The dead look behind your eyes,

The way you aren’t really there,

Don’t even seem alive,

You’re shaking, you’re stumbling,

You’re all over the place,

And everything you are doing,

Is destroying me at a pace,

I was doing so well,

I felt so alive,

But you have buried me again, 

With your secrets and lies

Alone

You said you wouldn’t leave me,

So why am I alone?

You said I didn’t have to fight this battle, 

anymore, on my own, 

Yet once again, I am in the ring, 

Fighting an endless battle, 

And I am alone,

Because, you have your oblivion,

And it means more than me, 

You have your special pills, 

You continue to feed your disease,

You don’t want help, yet you refuse, 

to go down on your own, 

You take us all with you.

I’ve forgiven your transgressions,

the things your sickness made you do, 

but you keep adding more to the list, 

refusing to accept the truth. 

Your illness is feeding mine, 

Destroying whats left of my soul 

Plaguing me with the realisation, 

That once again, I am alone.