Battling demons

What good is a heart that can not feel?

What if I am broken and will never heal?

A chronic illness, a sickness, a pain,

Whatever they call it, the answer remains the same.

A cure that doesn’t exist,

No quick and easy fix,

A lifetime battling demons only I can see,

Can you now understand why I want to flee?

Or how desperately my mind wants to give up,

After years of being empty, I have had enough.

There is a darkness in my heart that cannot be killed, 

A lifetime of breakdowns and prescriptions to be filled,

A genetic disease, how could I pass the monster on?

Yet I have no choice, it will never be gone,

Remission is possible but not guaranteed,

I must live my life on a ‘hopefully’.

Criminal

Some crimes can not be forgiven, 

You took away my childhood so you wouldn't have to care for your children,

You spewed your venomous words about me,

You broadcasted them to anyone who would listen, 

You told my little sister that I wasn't worth it, 

You told my mother I'd be fine because I deserved it,

You made me feel like I had lost my mind,

Because I was the only one aware of the crime,

Even if in some part of me I can find,

A reason to forgive you,

For telling my young self that I was worth nothing,

You didn't make me sick, but you took my will to live, 

You are a criminal because you left me to die,

Justice will be served, you owe me eight years in misery and suffering,

You deserve to lose everything,

Yet you will lose nothing,

I can promise you that if you didn't share DNA,

With the souls that made me who I am today,

Then I would sign your death warrant right away,

So while you sit there and moan,

About how much it sucks to be alone,

All I can say is, you reap what you sow.